A Celtic fan, a Rangers fan and a Hibs fan were all in
Saudi Arabia, sharing a smuggled crate of booze.
All of a sudden Saudi police rushed in and arrested
them.
The mere possession of alcohol is a severe offence in
Saudi Arabia, so for the terrible crime of actually
being caught consuming the booze, they were sentenced
to death!
However, after many months and with the help of very
good lawyers, they were able to successfully appeal
their sentence down to life imprisonment.
By a stroke of luck, it was a Saudi national holiday
the day their appeal finished, and the extremely
benevolent Sheikh decided they could be released after
receiving just 20 lashes each of the whip.
As they were preparing for their punishment, the
Sheikh suddenly said:
"It's my head wife's birthday today, and she has asked
me to grant each of you one wish before your
whipping."
The Hibs fan was first in line (he had drunk the
least), so he thought about this for a while and then
said: "Please tie a pillow to my back."
This was done, but the pillow only lasted 10 lashes
before the whip went through. The Hibs fan had to be
carried away bleeding and crying with pain when the
punishment was done.
Seeing this, the Rangers fan was next (well, he'd
almost finished a half-can !), and he said: "My choice
already ! Please fix TWO pillows on my back." But even
two pillows could only take 15 lashes before the  whip
went through. He too had to be dragged away at the
end, bleeding and sobbing.
The Celtic fan was the last one up (he had finished
off the crate...),  but before he could say anything,
the Sheikh turned to him and said:
"You are from a most beautiful part of the world, and
your team has some of the best and most loyal football
fans in the world. For this, you  may have two
wishes!"
"Oh cheers pal, your most Royal and Merciful
highness", the Celtic fan replies. "In recognition of
your kindness, my first wish is that you  give me not
20, but 100 lashes !" The sheik is astonished. "Not
only  are you an honourable man, you are also very
brave. If 100 lashes is what you desire, then so be
it.
And your second wish? What is it to be?" he asks.
The Celtic fan replies, "Please tie the Rangers fan to
my back..................